M gave me so much time, energy and love on Monday that it took me 48 hours to recover. Seven hours. She spent 7 hours with me, talking, laughing, and just enjoying each others’ company. And she brought along a small gift: a special pot with 3 hyacinth bulbs nestled within. She also brought along her youthful enthusiasm and straight talk, Dutch style.
Work with a translator. That’s M’s two cents on getting my Dutch writing up to speed. Why didn’t that cross my mind? It never did. But as I told her I don’t need how to learn to put a story together, I just need help with how to say it in Dutch, that’s what came out of her mouth. OMG! It’s such a GREAT idea I’m getting a bit antsy right now just thinking about it. And T’s already working with a GREAT translator on his book. An hour a week, going over my short Dutch attempts, would help me SO much.
And M gave me an instant money making idea once I’m cleared to teach. Hold lessons on how to write a thesis. M told me her schooling was similar to mine in that once she reached a certain level, she was expected to churn out a thesis with zero instruction on how to do it. She tried to get extra instructions from a teacher, but he just ended up confusing her more than helping her. Me? I managed – somehow – to get a charity status in Ireland due to my technical writing skills when I was told that was next to impossible. I put together a 40-50 page packet that included research, graphs, and a logical argument backed up all the way thru it. I KNOW how to write this stuff. When I slipped all that into our conversation, M said: Teach people how to do that. Everyone will pay for it. T almost flew off into mega mania when he heard the idea; he’s convinced it’s brilliant. And… Well, let’s face it. If I hold independent classes and get 20 students at 500 euro a head, that’s a good chunk of change.
To top things off, M held out a bit of hope for our filming ideas, too. As she said, we may get more of our crew together post vaccines. Everyone is anxious to get out and do fun stuff.
Most of all, M gave me big, long hugs. I told her I loved her and she said the same back to me. Didn’t know I needed that so much until I received it. Almost cried. I didn’t; I was too happy and excited for tears. But recalling it chokes me up. I love her, without doubt. And I believed her when she told me she loved me. The evidence was all there, right in front of me.
I am full of plans and future ideas. I’m full of hope, something I’ve been lacking as of late. Thank you, M. Thank you, Goddess. Thank you, Universe. Thank you for sharing that positivity with me. It was like a shot in the arm, a human vaccine against loneliness and depression. Feels like I can live on that for another 6 months, easily.
NL news: Our infection and hospitalisation rates remain about the same. Now the public fight has moved on to support packages and harsher lock down measures. With schools in danger and businesses closed down, everyone is feeling the effects. The idea is the same here as in many countries: vaccinate front line workers and the elderly first. That will help a lot. But when will we peons get it? No idea.
Personal update: Ugh. I’ve got an appointment on Friday for a check up at the dental surgeon’s. And suddenly, I have a sore white spot by that tooth. Looks like a very small infection. It was fine. Better than fine. Now, just before I see the doc, it gets worse. Fuck. I’m hoping it’s very, very small and won’t mean more surgery. I’m hoping it just goes away. *sigh* But I’ll get thru whatever treatment I have to go thru. That much, I’ve learned. And, if I’m honest, that tooth has been the source of so many problems for me for so long, I’ll almost welcome it getting yanked out of my mouth. Almost.
The next year is going to be interesting for me. I hope to get some money set aside so I can rent a cottage for a weekend, somewhere my film group can just crash, and we all meet there to film all weekend and have fun. I’ll be planning and doing my certification course. Talking to our attorney to see how much it may cost to hold my own, independent classes. Seeking out other job opportunities. Talking to translators and beginning work on my writing. In other words, I’m gonna be busy for a change.
And no, I still don’t have 100% confidence that I’ll be able to do it. Particularly when I react so much to a bit of social activity. I can’t keep doing that if I’m out there trying to make things happen. I have to get used to it. Somehow (in our still half locked down society) find a way to ease myself into more face to face contact. Find a way that I can give my all one day, get a good night’s sleep, and do it again the next day.
Even tho I’m tempted to say ‘that’s all next year’, a part of me realises ‘next year’ is less than a month away. In reality, all of this is just around the corner.
And for once in a very long time, I’m actually looking forward to turning that corner.