My throat was scratchy last night. Today my sinuses are bad. Feels like I’m on the edge of something. Maybe it’s a reaction to my annual flu shot. I can experience that. Maybe it’s something else. Don’t know yet. Hoping it won’t just linger on until my bday and then really hit me. Ugh.
My joints have felt like they’re on fire. Taking quite a bit of paracetamol. My psoriasis is healing. Slowly. My feet have pulled back but my hands still have outbreaks. Another ugh.
Mentioned to T that the new Hunger Games film, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, is playing at the cinema. I’d love to see it for my bday. T wasn’t very enthused. There was that heartbeat of stillness and he just moved on. Didn’t say anything. Ugh. I’ll bet if I’d picked the new Saw film he would have said yeah, let’s go. And I could compromise on this. I’m interested in the new Saw film, particularly since we have all the others. But my first choice is still the Hunger Games prequel. Don’t know why I should have to compromise on my bday. I compromise a lot with T. That’s just living together. Anyway. Don’t know if I’ll get to see it at the cinema since I was met with such stony silence. Maybe I’ll go see it by myself.
I know I’ve already bowed out of the next band rehearsal because it’s my bday week and I have my rheumatologist appointment the morning after. But I won’t be able to sleep until I know T is back safe. Not after last time. I dread waking up one morning and finding out he never came home. I could keep my phone in my room, but honestly I can hear the buzz of it and it bugs me.
Took down my hair the other day and showered. Whoa! The back braids were only in my hair for about 2 weeks and it took more than half an hour to get my hair untangled and ready to hit the shower. Now I’ve got everything in one long braid again. It feels a lot thicker. Amazing how much hair I have. And now I’ve got all sorts of hair growing back in. So in addition to my long locks, I have loads of shorter fly-aways. *sigh* I need to brush it out and treat it with oil. Again. Using a rosemary/mint concoction. My hair just sucks it in. I put the oil in and the first day my hair looks greasy. The second day it still seems a bit oily. But by the third day it’s totally soaked in and needing another application.
NL stuff: The weather is lousy. Look ahead and it’s all rain, rain, rain. High winds expected today. And DAMN! It’s getting cold. We have a severe housing crisis going on with no solid solutions. Every political party has their own ideas about how to solve said crisis and no one can get a majority to get anything done. We had our largest climate march in history over the weekend. Great Thunberg came. I missed it. In the long run, I’m sure that was for the best. I mean, I opened up with me not feeling up to par. I would have loved to go and be a part of it. But neither T nor I want issues. We don’t want to be marked as trouble makers or problems of any kind. So we don’t go. Our hearts are there, tho.
This week I get my back cracked and I see my shrink. Looking forward to both appointments. I need the help. Hoping I’ll feel better by the end of the week. My back will be straightened out and I won’t be having headaches. My shrink, I hope, will give me some concrete advice on handling my new metro fears.
Today, I cleaned up ’cause T’s student is coming by for a lesson. So I’m very ready to kick back in my room, under the duvet, and watch YouTube vids. But, you know…I got the house clean.
Doing my best to not kick myself for not doing more. I have so much more to get to. Phone calls, the gym, the gym, the gym, and a job. Yep. I gotta get to those things. I keep hoping I’ll feel better. Get some more oomph in me. Find the pep to go. Then I get up and my hands hurt, or my feet hurt, or I just ache in my hips or back. It sucks.
Well, at least my jeans weren’t as tight last time I wore them.
That’s gotta be a good sign, right?