Went out and bought two knee supports. I haven’t had to wear them since I lived in Ireland, but now… *sigh* Let me try to put a positive spin on it. I’ve felt so good for so long that I forgot what wearing all those braces felt like. Happy I bought them. Had band last night and was fully wrapped up: both knees wrapped and both wrists supported as well. Took the wrist bands off to play, but I wore them on the metro. The knee supports kept me pretty steady. So steady, as a matter of fact, that I burst out laughing at myself because all I could do was this small little bop behind my keys. Took the time to take a couple of big stretches before I sat on the toilet and finally was able to stand up without grabbing onto the doorknob. All in all, a good night as far as my physical self went. My mental self was really bothered when the drummer cut me off mid-sentence, changed the topic entirely, and took over the conversation. I didn’t say anything, but it was blatant. To me, at least. This is not the first time I’ve felt dissed by him. Trying to not cause problems, but it’s wearing on me. And it ain’t like I’m a big talker at rehearsal. I’m not. Also, UGH! I enjoy what I can but we don’t play one song I have or want in my collection. Not a one. The songs I have suggested have been vetoed by our guitarist and I’m just tired of thinking, suggesting, and getting shot down so I’m not suggesting anything anymore. The stuff I like they could never play. So I don’t even ask. At this point, I’m just looking at it as an occasional night out singing and playing.
Oh. And they set a ‘gig’ date. For the end of June, for one hour, at our rehearsal space. Wow. I am so unimpressed. And I played in front of an Irish men’s room door.
Yeah. So the supermarket got back to me to tell me they didn’t hire me because of my answer in that blank spot. You know; the thing I was worried about. Yeesh. Been doing searches on the many supermarkets in our area. That’s easier than trying to find something in my area on a job site. I’ll find something in the neighbourhood first. Make my commute easy.
Still doing what I can to build up strength. Thought I was doing pretty well, but last night as I hauled my keyboard back to our rehearsal space I was breathless as all fuck. Again. Keep telling myself I’ll get there. But last night was discouraging. I feel so weak. Also, can I say the internet does its best to make me feel even worse? I was out on YouTube yesterday and a vid popped up on my screen as a possible watch. Topic? Why women can’t loose belly fat after menopause. Oh, fuck right off! Yes, we can. Maybe it’s tougher than when we were 20, but we CAN do it. Fuckers. I swear that one came up on my feed just to make me feel bad.
Took a very overdue shower. Man!! When my hair gets weighed down by water the ends are below my butt crack. Well below. Little wonder I’ve had to watch it more on the toilet. Coming pretty close to peeing on my own hair at times. It’s already a challenge when I have to bend over to clean the WC or deal with the garbage. Naturally, my hair falls right where I don’t want it to fall. In other words: into the toilet or down into the garbage bin. Gross.
Still have to take care of the hoover issue. I’ll try to get out tomorrow. Head downtown to look at the bigger stores.
Today I’m effing off. The weather isn’t great and I’m still tired from band. Tomorrow is supposed to be drier, brighter, warmer, and less windy.
So tomorrow it is.