A full day of horror films does wonders. My mood is better, I feel lighter and less stressed, and I wasn’t antsy all day. Double whammy: after an all day Alien run, T and I watched 2 new horror films I’d recorded from tv.
Had cause to thank my bro yesterday yet again. The shower room sink has been plugged up and not draining properly for quite some time. T tried to unblock it with several things and finally resorted to removing the U bend and checking it manually. No big surprise: the problem was a huge nest of my hair in the U bend. But I had one of those forgotten memories hit me when he told me he’d just removed a huge knot of my hair from the pipes. Suddenly I became downcast and quiet. I realised I expected to be chewed out just for having the type of hair I have. And then it all fell into place: I was yelled at simply for having the hair I have by my MOTHER, naturally. Same thing happened when I was young: my hair is super thick and super strong, and even tho I don’t purposefully let a bunch of it go down the drain, it eventually does and NOTHING ON EARTH can break it. I remember sitting on the couch, getting yelled at by C. For having long hair, which was her decision, not mine. It was the same excuse she used to pull my hair and hurt me every damned day: You don’t take care of your hair! This is your own fault! No. It never was my fault. All of that hit me in an eyeblink (much quicker than writing it down takes) and I was thanking T for not blaming me. I told him C used to do that with me. He kind of half laughed and half snorted. That’s stupid, he said. Stupid. Oh, thank you T. You just cut thru the childhood shit of C so cleanly!
Went online and ordered Crime and Punishment. It should be arriving today. And I managed to push my way thru the rest of James and the Giant Peach in Dutch so my reading time every night is open. Can’t wait. Paid a few euro more for an academic copy that also includes notes and commentary from the translator. I’ll probably skip all that first time thru. I just want to read it. Immerse myself in that musical lilt of the time and region. Academic notes will be left for the second read thru. I’m perfectly capable of forming my own opinion on a piece of work without someone else telling me what they thought was important.
NL news: Infection rates are so high reporting can’t keep up. Haven’t seen a hard number for days now, but last report was over 10,000 infections in a day. The PM is warning of harder lock down measures, but they won’t look at that before next week. The gov’t feels the effects of the partial lock down aren’t yet evident. Hm. Don’t know I agree with them on that one. This is my concern: Many people won’t isolate themselves. If you figure every single infected case exposed at least 4 people to the virus, that means 50,000 people shouldn’t be on the streets. But I’m guessing at least half of them won’t adhere to that, which means 25,000 are running around and spreading it. It’s not rocket science to figure this shit out. It’s simple human nature. And those numbers are based only on ONE day, not the cumulative total. Actual numbers are much higher. … The police are beginning a crack down on fireworks. NL is largely banning fireworks this year. Rotterdam has a zero tolerance policy. Plus, the pandemic means even the city sponsored shows are being cancelled. So many people are trying to back up fireworks early. I’m ambivalent on it. I enjoy fireworks but understand they are extremely upsetting to wildlife and some people who suffer from PTSD. On the whole, I have to come down on the side of banning them – despite how much I’ll miss them. Just like I have to come down on the side of harsher lock down measures despite how much those measures may disrupt normal life.
You know, for a self professed hermit who doesn’t really give a fuck for most people, I do a hell of a lot for others whom I don’t even know. Or care about.
Back to my Alien run today. *happy and fulfilled sigh* That story just keeps getting better the more I watch it. Even WITH Cameron almost ruining the series. And tonight I get to begin a classic I’ve been dying to read for a long time.
Just a big THANK YOU. To the Universe, the Goddess, T, the weather, Sigourney Weaver, the entertainment industry, my tv, the plants, everyone and everything. Even the idiots running around spreading the virus; on some level, I AM enjoying the tragic comedy of the world at this moment.
Thanks for the distraction.