I watched Gone with the Wind yesterday. Saw it with new eyes.
When I was young, GWTW was a film my mother took me out of class to go and see. I fell in love with Rhett Butler, as so many young girls probably did, and was heartbroken when C told me he was dead. But the story captured my young heart. I could relate to Scarlett. Totally. And I remember those days of using my femininity to manipulate men. I wasn’t very good at it. In fact, I had a chance to be an old dying man’s last fling to whom he would leave all his money and I just couldn’t do it. I did play extra helpless when confronted with a flat tyre to make sure some guy would come along and do it for me. And I did play on my ‘wiles’ to the male authority. Bosses. Cops. I found out early that a smile and a wink could get me many things I couldn’t afford in any other manner. So Scarlett’s entire coquettishness (what a great word!) was entirely relatable to me. And I saw what Hollywood wanted me to see: a romance.
I don’t see it that way anymore.
What I saw yesterday was a film based on a young, smart woman being caught in a web of sexism that got her no matter what she did. Scarlett had to grow hard to get herself, her family, and those dependents who stayed on Tara through that time alive. She becomes a savvy businesswoman, earning far more than her doddering husband ever could. And she’s dissed for it no matter what. Rhett physically threatens her on more than one occasion. And he leaves her repeatedly when she needs him. Ashley is just a wet towel. He doesn’t have any real strength, which Scarlett finally realises at the end of the film. But Rhett isn’t the answer, either. He’s a controlling male who wants Scarlett to be a child so he can spoil her. He even says that after they have a child together. But Scarlett isn’t a child. And moreover, she doesn’t want to be that child. She enjoys running her business. She likes being in charge. Rhett gives her some leeway in things, but in the end he condemns her as they all do. Good Goddess! I remember seeing Melanie’s death scene when young. All those nasty comments about Scarlett! Well, there sits Ashley, the cheating husband. You’re not saying anything to him about it. Apparently, he’s entirely innocent just because he’s male. It’s all Scarlett’s fault. That’s the way the scene plays.
That shouldn’t be the way the scene plays.
I have changed. A deep, lasting change. It’s not my hair colour or how I vote, it’s an entire way of seeing things. The patriarchy will never, ever have a hold on me again.
I was happy when the World Sports whatever decided that trans people, if they went thru male puberty, should be banned from women’s events. I was less happy to hear that naturally born women with high levels of testosterone are going to have to change their natural state to adhere to these ‘guidelines’ or rules or whatever. Sorry, but if a woman naturally has more testosterone than other women, that’s just a natural advantage like someone with longer fingers or someone who’s taller or shorter or whatever. Women are women. What we’re discussing here is the acceptance level of people who were NOT born women into the female arena. Why is it different? Primarily because of our parents. Or just society in general. But those that are identified by others as male when born are treated entirely differently than those that are identified by others as female at birth. I understand that we’re trying to close the gap on that, but we’re not there yet and I don’t believe allowing in transgenders is that way to equalise women to men in society as a whole. Let’s just deal with natural born females first, shall we? It’s only a problem we’ve been trying to address for thousands of years.
But Goddess! The most divisive questions once again come down to women. Women’s roles. What makes a woman. Women’s dress code. And it’s all under pressure from men. Because when men feel helpless, they take it out on the women around them. Fact. of. life. I have seen it over and over and over again. It happens in war, it happens in the family, it happen at all levels of society. Women are the first and last target of aggression and manipulation.
Makes me think all the men out there have really small penises. *sigh* Because when it comes to men, somehow their penis size is STILL the most important thing.
So often I’m discouraged. I’ll watch some comedy panel show and suddenly I’ll be angry because every single person on the show assumes a bus driver is automatically a dude. They never consider that it could be a woman. Never once. And it’s not like we’re talking about being CEO of a company here. We’re talking about bus drivers. But even at that level, men rule. Men always rule. And if I dare to bring it up, I’m wrong. I don’t have a sense of humour or I’m a man hater or whatever.
Just like Scarlett, I can’t win no matter what I do.
Which should tell you one thing: women’s issues haven’t changed all that much. It’s the same stuff Scarlett O’Hara faced during the American Civil War. Oh, the manner of it has changed, perhaps. Women are generally allowed a bit more leeway than during Scarlett’s time. But I still catch – in modern shows, no less – angry men yelling ‘shut up, woman!’ like woman is a curse word. Still. Do you understand how bad that is? It’s as bad as backhanding a woman. Hitting her across the face.
Being a woman is NOT a curse.