Ja, ja.
Decided on a brain dump yesterday. I was feeling extra anxious over the state of my CV, so I told myself to just go out to the file and let loose with everything I’ve thought about. Result: I’m over a page. 😀 BIG smiley face. Of course, I did what I knew I’d do, and just rewrote a few areas using ‘better language’. My first attempt read something like: Founder of charity, responsible for all founding papers. My new attempt: Founder of charity, including research and identification of similar area organisations, analysis and dissemination of research information into clearly legible responses supporting the need for such an organisation, etc. etc. Both are correct. One is written for a job stacking shelves, the other is written for an ‘upscale’ position. I also tinkered with my cover letter and made a mental note to do a bit of research on these international organisations with which I’d be working. Not done yet, but feeling better about all of it.
Also making a mental note to just spend some time immersing myself in Dutch. Usually I’ve got Dutch afternoon cartoons playing while I game or write just to have the language going in the background. But it’s a bit too easy for what I’m aiming, so I’m making a point of going to Dutch news programs once or twice a day to listen to ‘adult’ language. My analysis of this position tells me it’s going to be more important for me to read and understand the spoken language than actually speak or write it myself. The description is pretty clear that English is the most vital language. I’ve just got to make sure I can understand my Dutch colleagues.
Very disappointed at this point to still complain over my back pain. DAMN! Felt better when I first got up, but now that I’ve moved around a bit I’m more stiff than ever. I don’t get it. This is NOT how I usually fuck my back up. My therapist gave me very good exercises for that, and every time before this, I’ve been able to loosen it up on my own. Not this. I’m beginning to think my tailbone is out of position. That’s where the mass of stiffness and pain is centred. It’s been going on long enough I’m positive I’ll schedule a few more appointments after Monday to make sure all is good and nothing slips back into this crookedness.
T goes out almost every day to get cash or do some shopping. He’s reporting seeing more and more boarded up places in the area, including one of our favourite bakeries. No idea what’s going on; there are no signs or notices. It may be permanent; it may not. It can be damned depressing to go outside these days. This closed, that closed, boarded up and soaped windows, signs down. Too many ‘soon to be for hire’ signs. And I’m talking about big places going down. Large restaurants with seating for over 100. Hell! The Schouwberg Theatre, one of the largest theatres in Rotterdam, is totally boarded up. Not just closed, but boarded up. It’s not good.
Something totally new this week. We’ve got a fish stand outside the the building that comes on a regular basis and has some of the best fresh fish in NL. That’s normal. What’s new is that right beside it, an additional stand has popped up selling fresh strawberries. Two huge packs for 5 euro. They haven’t done that before. I’m guessing prior to this year they sold off their strawberries in bulk to a packager or whatever. Now, they’re peddling them in the parking lot. Good for us, but I don’t think it’s such a good sign for them. Wondering if it’s down to Brexit. NL loves strawberries. In fact, you could say the Dutch are in love with every seasonal fruit and veg (we actually have an asparagus and whitlof season among others). Supermarkets are stacked high and customers grab everything to enjoy fresh. So the Dutch are eating as usual. All I can think of is that it’s the exports that are lacking, leaving behind a glut. And that means Brexit. I’ve been watching that tit for tat. It’s not changing. I doubt a British/EU war is actually on the table, but if it DOES happen, it’ll all be because of fishing rights. All the rest of it: diplomatic treatment, strawberry glut, and fighting over electricity – that’s just due to everyone wanting to pick a fight because they’re all pissed off about the fishing territories. It’s an old wound they just want to keep picking at.
I feel similarly about current events in the middle east. Old wounds they just won’t stop picking at. And, may I say, I’m angry. It’s like watching a bunch of 17 year olds beat up a 12 year old. There is no comparison, and the level of violence released is not warranted. Now, I don’t follow all the back and forth in the middle east. I’m not quite sure I support Israel in any way. It’s a state created by force and I lay the blame on the US and the UK, the main driving forces post WWII. This is what I really truly don’t understand: As far as I know, post WWII the Jewish people wanted a safe place, their own state, where they could live as a people in peace. And as far as I know, that drive was led by Europeans. I also get that the Jewish people lay historical claim to certain areas. But… It kind of sounds to me like if I were to demand a home in Germany because my family originally came from there. That claim doesn’t give me the right to go and kick out someone living in a home in Germany and take it over. Yet that’s what I understand happened. They didn’t set up a Jewish state in Europe, they forced it down the throats of the people of the middle east. No wonder everyone is angry. It doesn’t seem fair or right to me. And I’m not saying the Jewish people don’t deserve a safe space. They do. I just think forcing this ‘compromise’ without really consulting the local peoples affected was a bad idea all around.
So much easier to turn on some horror films. Sharks, natural disasters, serial killers, AI: give me something to hate, something I can clearly hate because it’s clearly bad. All this grey stuff is killing me. I get there are times and occasions when and where there are no right answers. I understand both economically and emotionally how any shift from the status quo – any status quo – brings a corresponding decrease in wealth, access, or power to groups of people invested in the status quo, and this brings conflict. I’ve spent most of my life seeing too much of either side and understanding the arguments of both. And it does my head in.
WHOOHOO!!!!! T just came home and handed me an envelope inviting me to get a vaccine!!! I’m super jazzed now. Three pages in Dutch to read: info on side effects, an alert that they want to track my progress in case of problems and for statistical info, how to make an appointment and a full page questionnaire to hand in on the day. Took some time, but at least they’re thorough.
That means sometime soon I’ll be able to go outside without a mask. Yea! Talk about totally turning around a day!
Now all I gotta do is get my back straightened. Get the jab, get that job.
Things are looking up.
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