Spleen Vented


There is nary a corner of my head that isn’t screaming some obscenity or another right now. Forefront is a rather long comment I received on FB regarding that horror of a stomach pump I mentioned the other day. Oh, yes. Some minion thought it necessary to get holier than thou on my post. I’m not about to begin a war out there; I’m not that type of person. But here, I can be honest.

I grew up with an obese sibling. I heard all about how horrible it was to call a spade a spade, to actually say to her face that she was fat or overweight, chunky, obese, or anything along those lines. Meanwhile, I watched her stuff her face with full plates at each and every meal, chow down on bags of munchies, eat Magnum ice cream night after night – yet I would be a ‘bad guy’ for even mentioning any of these factors, much less that she NEVER got off her fat ass to exercise unless she was trying to lose weight.

Get a grip, people. Of all the obese persons on this planet, probably only .001% actually have a medical problem that’s causing it. The rest of you DON’T have ‘big bones’. You’re FAT. Deal.

On the other side of insanity, we have these people who are walking skeletons. You. are not. beautiful. Your body is ugly. I don’t want to see it. The human form shouldn’t like you unless it’s been in the ground decomposing for six months. Get some goddamn help because you DO have a real body issue.

Fucking madness.

My body is in no way skinny. Nor is it obese. It falls into the ‘normal’ category, something that’s being lost from humanity.

Ever read 2000 A.D.? I’m thinking of those blobs they put into their future stories…People so fat they run around on electric scooters full time. Yes, it’s happening NOW.

Yet the image we see on the screen – big and small – is of an obviously semi-starving person. Ladies and gentlemen, this may come as a shock to some of you, but you really shouldn’t be able to count each and every rib in your body. They shouldn’t show like that. You’re dangerously underweight.

And along the same line, if you haven’t seen your collar bones since you were a kid you’d better shed some fucking pounds.

Can’t we ditch this diet shit and just try to be healthy? Good old fashioned healthy. The kind of person that can lift, move, and stretch freely and easily enough to be able to complete every day tasks. I realize there are people out there who actually DO have a mobility problem. Someday I may rank among them. But for the REST of you riding around on those fucking mobility scooters and then getting up with ease to open doors or pick things up or whatever, YOU I have a problem with. You get in MY way, beep at ME, when YOU’RE too goddamn lazy to get the fuck UP out of that seat to actually MOVE. Fuuuuck you!

And can someone PLEASE explain to me how so many of these ‘refugees’ I’m hearing about can come up with the tens of thousands of euro it takes to get smuggled across the borders? Now that Calais is getting dismantled, groups of refugees are camping out all along the beaches in France and Belgium, waiting to pay thousands of euro to board a small ship illegally and reach the UK. Which seems odd in and of itself; just yesterday they blocked the Eurotunnel and shouted ‘Fuck the UK’ while trying to get there. But how do these people get this kind of cash? From what I understand, to get in a boat across the Mediterranean cost around €10,000 per person. Then there’s the cost of getting to whatever country they get caught in. The cost of their tents. Their clothes. All the trash they left while walking there.

If I sold everything I have, I couldn’t come up with that much money. And we’re paying for these people? How is this happening? Why aren’t they just getting in the system and getting a place to live? They OBVIOUSLY have enough cash for it. I know it’s not everyone. But why aren’t we stopping the ones that DO fall in this category? Doesn’t seem to be difficult to find them; news crews are talking to them every goddamned day.

And why don’t I hear about the prosecution of the people that DO the smuggling?

Why aren’t the damned football hooligans ALL getting jail sentences? There’s enough footage of every one on line to use facial recognition and nab every single one of those assholes. And can we speak the truth for once: England carries a LOT of responsibility for the riots getting out of hand. Just because everyone wants to pussy-foot around the Brexit and not cause an upset right now is NO reason not to go after the mother fuckers responsible for all the damage. Like France needed any of THIS shit right now.

I see it’s business as usual in the states: profits above people. Fucking pussies in that ass-wipe fascist government! Yeah, real representative of the people. Great fucking democracy you got going (not).

And yes, I’m gonna say it: sad to see that The Trump still lives. All these people getting murdered every damned day but you can’t kill him. Well, they say the devil IS notoriously difficult to kill.

*sigh* There. Spleen vented.


Orthopedic Shoe Poster Woman/Child

After all my waiting, planning, and anticipation, I was shocked – SHOCKED – yesterday when the appointment to pick up my new shoes came and went with nary a notice. Wonderful to realize you’ve missed something 15 minutes after the time you were supposed to be there. Lucky for me they had time later in the day. So here they are:


There’s been loads of compromises on these shoes as well as indulgences in exactly what I want. I think they turned out pretty damned cool. I need to go back to the shop today; one heel is too tight and I didn’t notice it until after I’d been walking with them for half an hour. But I’m confident that they’ll fit me in for a simple adjustment like that. Because I have become

Orthopedic Shoe Poster Woman/Child.

Yes. They snapped pics and asked me to come back for a special meeting of rheumatologists, headed up by my own rheumatologist, to discuss orthopedic shoes in general for RA sufferers. I’m back Monday evening to be a model and a spokesperson. Guess I’m that perfect blend of chronic sufferer, optimist, and affable person for them. I don’t mind. If every person who suffered from RA got a pair of these shoes, I think there’d be less of those damned chairs that zoom around. Who wants to sit and ride when they can walk? Wait…that’s just me again, isn’t it? Whatever, man. Get that heel adjusted and I might not take these shoes off all summer long. They don’t even make my feet look big.

Ah, I’m at that point again. I’ve let things slide long enough that now I’ve a mountain of work. Writing to people, cleaning, following up on notifications from this and that. I must like it. Like the challenge of tackling a lot of stuff at once. Because I do it all the fucking time. *rolls eyes* And damn me if it doesn’t come at times when I’m busy with life. There’s 50 things I WANT to do before rolling up my sleeves and tackling the bleeding HOUSEWORK. Meh.

Today I’ve a huge…why am I typing this? I’ve got my camera. THIS is what I’ve got:


Flowers. Yes. More than that. These flowers were picked up at my local market. Outdoor market, not supermarket. Three large bunches for five euro. That’s less expensive than at the stores, and these blooms are much fresher. The guy wrapped them all up in brown paper, so I walked home with this HUGE bouquet in my arms. I’ve never won anything like a beauty contest and I KNOW these aren’t roses, but walking home with them wrapped up made me FEEL like I was wearing a crown.

I now believe every woman should, once in her life, walk down the street with a huge bouquet of flowers in her arms. Sounds silly, I know. But it really is quite an experience.

Since my camera is out and ready, I’ll share with you some of the other things I’ve been excited about. My new dining room table (remember – it was FREE) with green and purple chairs:


Ignore any clutter. The place isn’t finished.

And here’s one of my new chairs:


A comfy seat and probably the one you’ll be sitting in if you visit.

Pretty cool, right? It feels good to have a few items of furniture that don’t look like I’ve had them for 20 years. It feels even better to know we got everything at a good price. I mean, how can you beat FREE?

I’m doubly glad for the flowers and few nice items considering the state of the world. Things are shaky again, and just to be safe we need to quiet down and save money this summer. Currency exchange rates have gone haywire since Trump’s been announced the presumptive Republican candidate. Every country in the world is selling off dollars and US assets. If it keeps going like this, the dollar will be the same as a junk bond – worthless, and risky to invest in. Americans better start to think for once in their lives.

But when has THAT ever happened?

Ach! No. more. politics. It’s hard for me at times because what’s happening politically has a huge impact on the day to day here. Very different from the states, where a federal law or decree can be issued but nothing much changes in people’s lives. Here it has real consequences.

What I can tell you, without grousing over politics, is that I’ve got a lot of new neighbors these days. None of them are Dutch. None of them look Dutch, speak Dutch, or act like the Dutch. Case in point: the downstairs neighbor had a full on fight a few days ago, complete with screaming and bloodied participants. The entire building turned out to find out what was going on. One guy left with his shirt ripped off, his pants almost down, and blood dripping down his face. Not really what you think of when someone says ‘Holland’.

And hey! I don’t expect these people to be in good shape. They’ve all suffered through a lot, and undoubtedly all of them need PTSD counseling. The clothing doesn’t bother me, the language doesn’t phase me. What DOES phase and bother me is the culture clash. The Dutch are open, friendly. When you walk around your neighborhood it’s kind of expected that you greet other walkers with a hello and a smile, or at least a nod. The newcomers don’t. Not even the women; let’s not get started on the men who, at times, won’t even look at you if you’re female much less acknowledge that you just spoke.  And no, it’s not ALL of them. Many are open, friendly, willing to learn and make friends. Just. not. all. It’s those few who are closed down and refuse to integrate that stand out and cause the problems. And yes, those few make me feel a wee bit unsafe. It doesn’t even seem like they WANT to be here.

I want to be here. The next decade may be a very trying one on the European continent. Hell! It’ll be trying no matter where you live on this planet. But I’ll stay where I am, be a patriot – YES, a patriot – for my new homeland. After all, how could they cope without Orthopedic Shoe Poster Woman/Child?

Een Goede Plaats om te Beginnen


Word of the day is sleep. Turns out it was a major word yesterday, too. Fell asleep several times while sitting with the tv on. AND slept thru til 6:30 this morning. Almost a normal night. I feel incredibly fucking tired despite all the rest.

I feel like I’ve shut down.

Continue reading “Een Goede Plaats om te Beginnen”