BOOM! There it is.

I had a mooie (beautiful) letter, but my teacher still found half a dozen corrections to make…

Language class. OMG. It’s a bit of boot camp for my brain. After a week off, I faced three in-class tests to find out how much we remembered and retained. Oh, I know I didn’t do well! I had NO dictionary, NO smart phone to access an online dictionary, NO idea what 60% of the words were. Well, if they really wanted to know exactly where I am, they did well, ’cause there was no hiding my ignorance. Think I might have been passable on present tense – though things like ‘humanity’ or referencing large groups of people as singularities still gets me to fuck up the verb tense. But the past tense! Ach, now there I was truly horrible. Did my best, but I’ve only got the grammar rules half learned, and it was embarrassingly evident as I worked my way through the paper. Still, I have to give myself a little credit. I managed to work my way thru the paper – something not everyone in the class was able to do (the tests were timed).

And homework: five or six sheets to fill in, plus another letter. One teacher said get used to it; she’s gonna ask us to write a letter every damned week. AAaaargh! I was also asked if I’d be ready to start a new book in Dutch next week, so the pressure is on for me to finish reading the one I’ve got.

Spoke to the only man in the group while we were on coffee break. Actually, he talked to me – and that’s something for me to note: he might be feeling a little lonely. All the other women in the group are Muslim, and they sort of group together and speak half Dutch and half Farsi. Knocks me out of the conversation. He’s left out, too. Better learn his name, and get used to his accent (rather heavy). He seems very open, and wants to talk. I’ve no issue with that, and I appreciate the time to try some free-flowing Dutch conversation. Had to laugh to myself, though. We did the standard beginner Dutch conversation: hello, how are you, how long have you lived here, where do you come from? When I told him I was born in Wisconsin – well, that was too vague. What’s the capital? He asked. I told him; he didn’t know it. I asked if he knew the Great Lakes. He didn’t. Finally got that ‘aha’ look on his face when I told him it was near the Canadian border. THAT’S how big you have to get when discussing something not on the coast in the US. People over here tend to think New York, L.A., Texas, and Florida. They forget everything in between.

As of today, I’ve got 8 readers coming to my script read thru. Three still to hear from. Spent time graphing out the speaking roles. I’ll need to do some doubling, and I want a good idea of which roles can handle that and which roles can’t. Last time the group read one of my scripts, I was a bit more lackadaisical. I just asked for volunteers for each part. This time, I’m choosing. I noticed in the first read thru that L, the director’s girlfriend, was a bit disruptive. Ticked me off at the time. But I’ve got to know her a little better now, and I realize she was probably just bored in the first read thru. So, this time, I’m asking her to read the starring role. She’ll be speaking in every scene but one – very little time for her to get bored. Thinking about the other roles, too. A couple of people are coming in from outside Rotterdam just to be there for me, and I want to make sure they get juicy parts. Actually, I don’t want anyone to get bored – another reason to double up roles that are well written and intense but aren’t in every scene.

And I’m talking with the director on the thriller trilogy. Sent him the first part, talked about recording bits for it. We’re beginning to discuss this like it’s a given fact, like the decision to do it has already been made. Sure hope he has some pull with the board. Wonder if he’s willing to say ‘Listen, I’m the director and I really like this, so we’re doing it’. That would be cool. I think, tho, that I’ll need to sell it to a few other people. Good to get the director’s thoughts, input, and attention now. No reason I can’t go in there with him on my side.

Funny how time seems to collapse the closer you get to a set date. Last week, I had all the time in the world to stretch my mental muscles, sit in sloth, and do whatever. This week I must adhere to an ever-increasingly strict schedule. Saturday is the last performance. Ran thru my lines last night. Had to check the script once, because my dialogue depends on my partner’s dialogue and I needed his verbal cue to kick off my memory. Half did the voice. Some lines I can’t say without the voice, some lines I can. Saved my throat as much as possible. Found the laugh (my bro is looking forward to me being done with this role so I stop snorting when I laugh). Found the physical tics. Found the attitude. I’ll need to do this a few more times; I hid Wendy well away under my writer mania. Time to dig her out.

Feel very buoyed up by everyone’s response to my read thru request. Feel very excited by the push from my teachers. And strangely enough, long, long ago, I did a numerology reading on myself. 51 was the age. A strange coming together of all things in my life; a high point. Didn’t think much about it at the time.

But BOOM! There it is.

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