I want it to happen

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A rare word to my followers: thanks. I’ve picked up a few newbies this week, and received some comments that have boosted my mood. It’s gratifying to know someone out there connects with what I write. I’m late in replying, late in acknowledging awards, late in reading and commenting on your words – and I know it. That’s my bad. I haven’t forgotten you or meant to diss you. I’m just a bit lost in my own life.

My head is full of English. Another bad on me. Three people spoke to me at the pool this morning, and I did my fall back: smile, nod, and laugh a bit if their body language and facial expression indicates that’s appropriate. Make non-committal noises. Mmm-hmm and uh-huh are my two biggies. Did I understand them? A little. Not enough for two years living here, not enough in my book – although I’ll admit my book is a tall tome that’s intimidating to read and twice as scary to live. My grasp of Dutch is a constant struggle. And active listening is a pain in my ass! I want to hear and understand. Right now, I hear and have to think, translate, sort out the sounds that are thrown at me at such a fucking rapid pace I can barely distinguish where one word ends and another starts. It’s so much work!

The writing has begun. Nothing on paper. Nothing will go down on paper for a while. But the scenes have begun. The words are flowing. The ideas are coming. My time spent on the radio drama was very worthwhile; I’ve learned that short ideas grow into long pages all by themselves. All I need to do is find my short ideas, the three main areas I’ll circle around during each act. Act 1 is obvious: set up. Introduce the characters, the scene, the setting, the conflict. I know one character dies, tho I’m uncertain if that’s Act 2 or 3. And I’m thinking ahead, of the resolution. Do I end it with the end of the war? Not sure I like that idea. Too bleeding obvious.

Keep hearing music in this thing, too. Keep seeing characters burst into song. It’s not what I want to focus on, and I find it distracting. Though I’ve got to admit…I’ve had ideas for one or two songs that I might include. Showing the solidarity of these women through singing is appealing.

…Better check the rules. If they allow musicals…maybe. That’s all I’ll say. Maybe.

Shocker: came home from the pool to find my brother had the dishes done. I was doubly surprised considering he’s busy with writing and busy with beginning of the month stuff like paying bills. It was pretty nice, though. Volunteered to make an easy dinner tonight to take the stress of cooking off him.

Tomorrow I go downtown, get my blood tests done, and copies of the script printed up for Thursday’s read through. Where will my head be at by Friday morning? Should I even be thinking about that? Guess I’ve got to, on some level. There’s still the final touches on the radio script: last minute edits and final numbering. Technically, it’s not done yet. Just gotta keep it together a bit longer, though I already feel the pull of the next piece dragging me away from this world.

And I want it to happen.

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