Off Time


Strange to live in a country that celebrates its own holidays. Yesterday was King’s Day – the celebration of the King’s b-day and a general piss up for the public. Had to keep reminding myself it was just another Thursday for the rest of the world.

Tersely answered my long-term FB cyber pal after another prompting message from him. I just said I’d been ill – which, between my hearing and back problems is pretty much the truth. It’s not the whole truth of why I haven’t written back to him. I still haven’t grown up enough to deal with his voting for 45 as anything other than a betrayal to everything decent in the world. I may never be that grown up.

While on FB, I noticed a comment from someone I used to know. Someone who was a real bitch to me. And she says “so how are you doing?” like she never froze me out, tossed away our friendship, or turned the female members of the town against me. Ignore. Again.

Why do people think that time and silence will make me forget what assholes they’ve been?

Saw the US courts have made it legal to pay women less than men. BRAVO, you fucking bastards.

You can all suck my balls.

I really think I’m beginning to hate men. All men. If they have a dick, they are a dick.

In fact, I think I should run for public office on the platform that the vast majority of rapes are committed by men, so in order to curb this violent aspect of society, every man’s penis should be cut off by the age of 12. Chop, chop. Problem solved. I think that’s as clear cut and well thought through as some of the shit I’ve heard from politicians lately.

Let’s see how all those 45 voting men feel about THAT platform. Oh! You’re upset? Why? I’m not talking about you. I still care about you. Don’t you get that?

How’s it fucking feel, assholes?

Need a good session at the gym to burn out all this anger. Don’t know that my back is up to it yet. Been walking more, and longer – but a gym session? Do not want to send my back into spasms from overuse.

Reminding myself of positives. It’s preventing me from screaming at the top of my lungs.

That, and a J.

Wanted to give myself some down time before hopping on the next writing assignment, but I’m beginning to wonder if that’s smart. Maybe I should just dive in. Forget about the world for a while. Fuck you, go away, I’m busy.

Trying to stay away from that headspace ’til post script read through. Walking into a reading with my writer’s cap on is NOT the way to have a pleasant evening. It’s a way to pick people apart, stare for minutes on end, smile, make notes, and put people on the spot. That’s not my goal.

…Ugh. The drag of off time.



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