I don’t need to justify myself


The endorphins have it.

Finally! Feeling energized and if not maniacally positive, I’m at least not thinking the absolute worst. All it took was a few battering my body until it’s ready to drop exercise sessions. I say “all it took”; but yesterday as I was pushing thru my morning pool time I wouldn’t have agreed to such a blithe comment. Somehow I kept digging deep, using every bit of strength for each movement – and it showed later. Exhausted on a level that only prolonged, deep level exercise can get you to. Pushed thru that, as well: dishes, shopping, and making homemade soup all went on the chop block and got accomplished.

Not sure if I slept last night; I think my condition was closer to complete unconsciousness.

Today I’ve submitted a proposal to a theater group for a play based on the WWII Night Witches. Not sure it was the strongest submission I could have done; I thought long and hard about doing something on Laura Ingalls Wilder, with whom I’m well familiar (the theatre group in question requests scripts based on real life women). The Night Witches were Russian fighters, and I’m worried that the fact it’s based on Russian women will result in all those American prejudices rearing their heads and get it kicked out of consideration before I’ve even begun. But I’ve wanted to write about these women since I first read about them a few years ago, so I went with it.

Pulled info for a women’s blog that actually pays money for articles.

Trying to channel my writing. It’s great to free-write, do whatever catches your fancy, but that makes it difficult to write for a living. To write for a living, you’ve got to be able to direct your talent. Write to a purpose. Now I’ve two projects that are directed writing. I’ll see if I can handle it.

Thank the Goddess Wednesday falls in the middle of the week! That was my first thought this morning, and it made me laugh at myself. Wednesdays are mini-breaks for me, in between exercise days and language days, work on the computer and housework, reading and writing.

I might just laze around on today’s mini-break. Feet up, films on, curtains closed. That, despite my not getting to my language work or reading, or my contract work for my bro. I am just that flippin’ tired.

And damned if I didn’t see another dust bunny scooting around this morning. Ran back under my bed, naturally. Bloody annoying things.

BIG NEWS! The theatre group has finally – FINALLY – posted notices for open auditions. Scheduled for next Thursday and the Tuesday after that. I’m fairly certain I don’t actually want to join this group, just use their gathering to find enough people for my own project. Acknowledging that makes me feel pretty petty, and I want to add all my reasons for this unseemly behavior. But I won’t add all my reasons; they should be self-evident.

And I don’t need to justify myself.


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