Blah

Why did you leave me? I thought we were a team.

I don’t blame you. I just don’t want to be out here alone.

Without you.

It really sucked to hear about your death via a damned comment. Felt like I should have known. Maybe I did. Nothing has been right lately.

Can’t stop crying, my friend. I hope it didn’t hurt. I hope you felt hopeful, not sad.

Thank the goddess I’m lousy at cleaning up my emails. I still have dozens and dozens from you in my sent box. Times when you felt better. Times when you bucked me up. Times when you said just the right thing to make me laugh. No one could do that like you.

I wonder where they will bury you. I wonder about Solo. Who will take him?

Never did get a chance to meet you face to face.

My life has been sad enough lately without your constant messages to me. I don’t know what I’m gonna do now.

I wanna just shout. If I shout loud enough you’ll answer. Eventually. Oh, please! Just answer…

You told me your real name, and what the locals call you. You talked about your brother. Such bits and pieces I have of your life, a life so important to me in so many ways. You were one of the first to welcome me to blogging. You gave me so much and I felt like I could never reciprocate. I could never make you laugh like you made me laugh. I could never calm you down the way you calmed me down. You pulled me back from the edge, and I couldn’t do the same for you.

I miss you. Forever and always.

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