I am full of rest and chicken soup. Still not healthy, but on my way. Just to make sure all of you love my bro even more, yes, he ran down to the store and bought fresh ingredients at noon so he could whip together a hearty soup for dinner. What a guy.
Films were on telly all day yesterday, whether or not my eyes were open for them. I’d recorded two Hitchcock films: M is for Murder and Rear Window. Something about 50s films that just sets me to sleep. Not only does the picture have that soft film look (I LIKE the soft film look, morons; don’t talk to me about HD this or that!) it also has the 50s soft audio compression. No hard edges of sound, no blaring horns or piercing screams or earth rumbling booms. It’s easy to sleep to, unlike modern films that have such tight compression everything has a high end tinge to it (brr! my ears hurt just thinking about that).
I tried some other films but couldn’t deal with the hate portrayed. Taken 2 got erased about 25 minutes into it. Really? You’re going to show an old man who doesn’t give a fuck that his son was selling human beings into slavery, just that he died and therefore deserves revenge not only on the man who pulled the trigger but also his entire family? I know there are people like that out there – they should all DIE, DIE, DIE – but I don’t want to see it. Gets me too angry. Gets me to the point where I’ll say something entirely unpopular and risk catching hell for it.
Every child in the world should be taken AWAY from their parents and raised in a group with proper supervision. One on one supervision, fine. But no one should know who they’ve given birth to. That way, you gotta treat EVERYONE well because you might be shitting on your son or daughter or mother or father. Yes, there are a few cases where the chemical imbalance in a person’s brain is so severe it causes extreme behavior, but for the most part, MONSTERS ARE MADE, not born.
Why exactly is it that we demand adoptive parents go through a rigorous screening process, but anyone can pop one out and not be questioned as to whether or not they’re capable of raising a child?!? What the fuck is that? Why do we allow this shitty behavior to be passed down generation after generation? We only allow it to spread that way – one parent can fuck up 10 goddamn kids for the rest of their fucking lives. Then they all go and have 10 fucking kids and by the time you know it, we have a fucking social epidemic on our hands.
And this attitude that the flesh of your flesh is more important or worthy than anyone else SIMPLY because you share DNA with them is fucking ludicrous. And don’t fucking come at me with ‘if you had kids you’d understand’. FUCK YOU! As far as I’m concerned, every human on this fucking planet is my child (whether or not I’m older than they are) because everything I do has the potential to fucking teach someone else something. I can pass on any of my views or beliefs to ANYONE, not just those of my own DNA. So you’re all my children. Even the assholes. And I say, get rid of the assholes. Or at least separate them from future generations so they don’t keep infecting hate over and over again.
Let’s face it. I think my sister and older brother in the states are both assholes, and I would be in the front firing line for both of them. DNA doesn’t matter; just get rid of them because they breed hate in themselves and other people. Put my nephew in there too; he’s a hate monger. Take HIS kid away – maybe that child is young enough to help. The rest aren’t.
*sigh* And I know. By doing that, I’d breed a different kind of hate. A hate of hate. I’m just so fucking frustrated!
Maybe coming from a family where my mom would have given me up in a nanosecond to save her husband makes me a bit cold and calculating about this subject. I like to think I could have done what I wanted to and been who I wanted to be if I hadn’t been under my mother’s control. I have not fulfilled my potential as a human being in this lifetime. I chose to cripple myself and do what I was told to do because I wanted so much to be loved, and I thought that was the only way. If only. If only I had been taken away and raised by someone else. Ah, with my luck it would have been some psychos. Or more psycho than what I dealt with in the first place.
Fuck it all. I’m on the tail end of life. You guys can fucking figure this one out for me.
Btw, yesterday’s count was 1.3 joints.
The count is coming down; the paint is coming off. I’m not a nice person underneath.