I was up at 5

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There is a world of difference between watching 7 a.m. from the comfort of my home and being out in it. For one thing, there’s no hot coffee once I leave the house.

First early morning lane swim: excellent. Great way to begin October; a power month, to be sure. Getting my ass out and walking in the morning chill was the most difficult part. Once I got in the pool I settled down to a good rhythm. No one in my way today. The pool was set for lane swimming. The fast lane was obvious: no one stopped or paused at the end of a length, they just tagged the wall and continued to crawl through the water. The slow and the middle lanes were a bit more muddled. I chose the middle lane, which ended up being a good choice. Still spending several minutes after a lap just moving my shoulder around, but I’m far too fast a swimmer to go into the slow lane. Afterwards, I popped into the whirlpool for 15 minutes. Obviously I have not before been in the whirlpool when it’s been on full blast. Sat in the warm water (by MYSELF) for a good five minutes before it kicked in. Then I got the discovery of what it’s like to be an effervescent tablet. Could not stop laughing; the bubbles were very powerful and came straight up my suit, burping out the top and sounding VERY much like a fart. Spent 10 minutes giggling as the underwater jets did their thing. Even timed everything so I got the best hot shower going into and coming out of the pool (as usual, ONE shower and one shower only has a super blast…the rest are okay).

Not happy to say I’ve got a nagging tickle in the back of my throat. It’s allergy season again, and my bro’s been fighting a sinus infection…Feels like he may have passed it on to me. Pounding orange juice and avoiding smoking (yes, there’s a half smoked J from last night I’m not touching). Crap-spackle. Got that cough going, too. Well I guess I gotta battle this thing now. It’s here, no denying it. I can taste that shit in the back of my throat – nasty. I almost didn’t swim, then thought that swimming would do one of two things: either kick this illness in the ass and get rid of it, or hurry it’s cycle. Looks like I got the hurry the cycle…Ugh. Means a fast illness, fast down. I guess that’s better than a slow illness that takes weeks to manifest and then just as long to get rid of.

I have NOT found a bra yet. Had to go online to figure this one out: the size I’m looking for is a 90AA (almost sounds like a fucking BATTERY size). That’s not in inches or centimeters, so don’t ask me what the 90 means. I’m clueless. All I know is that’s what’s got to be on the label. Also no idea when this new numbering system came into play. What, like if you pick an arbitrary number we women aren’t supposed to get all hyper about the size thing anymore? Well, garment makers of the world, then why don’t you number BACKWARDS? Make the biggest size you offer a 1. The smallest can deal with being a size 100. That might work. Or better yet, just move to letters. A, B, C, D….I’d rather call myself a K or an L than a size 20 or pants size 46 or bra size 90AA, for fuck’s sake!

My experiment with hanging is tougher than I imagined it would be. Hanging out is HARD. I wanted to play games on my phone or bring along something to read rather than just hang. I felt weird just sitting down on a park bench for five minutes with nothing to do. Antsy. Hard to just sit there.

As for language, well, I heard what everyone hears and what no one wants to hear: you gotta work at it. 5 little words that crush the spirit out of dieters, exercisers, language learners, students, and artists. Ach! To give the group credit – and they DO deserve credit; they’re all volunteers – they did take our names down and they’ll call us when a spot opens up in a class. In the meantime, however, it’s on us. Advice: do half an hour a day, every day. Sounds like my fucking doctors: get exercise, at least half an hour a day every day. Bleh. I’ll work on the exercise thing SO much faster than language. Really gonna have to kick myself to get started on it. Determine a time to work on language, set aside the same time every day, and do it. *sigh* All I can think is ‘You mean you haven’t developed language courses in injection form? Really? ‘Cause I’m not afraid of needles’.

You know, six months ago I was living a life with NO timing issues, no list of things that needed to be done each and every day. I drifted, and it was nice. Now I’ve got a number of things I want to keep working on. More and more time each day is getting slotted for this or that. It’s good to have goals again, concrete things I’m keeping busy with. I’m a bit concerned, tho..Concerned about trying to do too much. This is enough, now. Writing and exercise and language: that’s enough on my plate. I still want a life. I still gotta have to time to do my hanging and my nothing. Draw the line in the dirt, woman. No more ‘it’ll only take half an hour a day’ shit. I can ‘half an hour a day’ my life away. Done it before.

Getting soooo tired now. Guess I need to screw up my system a bit more by going and taking a nap at 10 a.m. That’ll be fun. I suppose I need it. I was up at 5…

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