Well, say hi to Beeps. Thanks, Lolabipola, for the new nickname! Nicknames are COOL (she says with a fez on and a bow tie around her neck – if you don’t get that reference, ya don’t deserve to know). I rarely got nicknames growing up; I don’t know….I guess it was that whole intimidation factor I’ve been told about. Other kids were intimidated by my whatever they perceived me to have that they didn’t (I wasn’t smarter, or more mature than any of them, just a hell of a lot quieter. And maybe weirder).
So……my illness is on the way out, yippee. Fever’s broken, and the stuff in my head is now making its way out via my nostrils. Still feel like CRAP warmed up, but at least I’m now warmed up crap rather than deep frozen crap – ok, bad analogy but you get it. I feel better.
Had a very tough day yesterday. I got triggered right out of sleep. After my brief post and bop around the internet, I took another nap yesterday morning. My brother got up, I woke up in my chair, and within 5 minutes a spew of hot leaden verbal SHIT was streaming out of my mouth. Nothing to do with him, nothing to do with what was on the telly. Just a spew, straight out.
I’m a Gen Xer, and fucking proud of it. We’re the kids born AFTER the baby boomers and BEFORE Gen Y. Yeah, I know. You kind of forgot we existed, didn’t you? Seems the entire fucking world has done that. And considering one of my BIG triggers is being ignored, this really gets me.
I AM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF HEARING ALL ABOUT EVERYONE BUT GENERATION X. ALL I HEAR IS HOW THE GEN Y AND YOLO GEN ARE SO FUCKING GREAT; THEY’RE THE ONLY ONES WHO’VE DONE ANYTHING ACTIVE FOR SO LONG, YADDA, YADDA, AD INFINITUM.
Oh, fuck you.
Fuck you, Gen Y and Gen Yolo. It’s us Xers who made it even POSSIBLE for you to move ahead, to be whisteblowers, to do what you’re doing.
Fuck you, baby boomers, for forgetting that Gen Xers are your children. Fuck you for telling us all when we were 8 that we were losers, that our generation could never achieve anything close to what our parents did, that we were DOOMED FROM THE START to live below expectations, below standard of living, below everything you think fucking matters.
Yeah, I was told that in school.
That was about the last time anyone addressed Gen X as Gen X.
We fell between the cracks growing up, we fell between the cracks as we became adults, and now, most of us won’t even admit that we ARE Gen Xers. A fucking sad state of being if ever there was one.
I’m a Gen X kid. We’re also called the Slacker Generation. We grew up as latch key kids, ’cause most of our moms were already out there working a second job just to keep the house. We watched Speed Racer and Transformers every day after school. We appreciated the old Looney Tune cartoons but refused to watch the newer 70s versions of flat characters and even flatter animation. We grew up hearing Led Zeppelin from our elder siblings, and liked it. We chewed up punk and metal, then we spat out Grunge. We were NOT the fucking boy band generation: I think, maybe as the only Gen Xer willing to admit being a Gen Xer, that I can and will speak for all Gen Xers: BOY BANDS SUCK, BABY CAKES. GET A REAL FUCKING MUSICIAN ON THE FUCKING STAGE. Gen Xers are the last kids that were hit by their parents, before all that shit was made illegal. Gen Xers MADE Marvel comics thrive. Without us, Stan the Man would just be a homeless dude jacking off to his Spiderman drawings. Gen Xers embraced sic-fi. We’re the ones Star Wars was made for, and in its first incarnation it was fucking GLORIOUS (and fuck you, Lucas, for fucking it up forever more with all your post production CGI add ons).
We’re HERE, We’re SLACKERS, DEAL WITH IT!
Best comic ever: Slacker, from Slave Labor Comics. Very hard to find black and white limited run. It’s the gold in my comic collection. ‘Cause baby, Randy says it all for Gen Xers.
But what’s this all got to do with you, Beeps?
I’m not sure.
I’m not sure, other than I feel very much like Randy, the main character in Slacker Comics. Angry. Real fuckin’ angry. It’s like the entire fucking world has decided to ignore Gen Xers again, still. We don’t fucking exist to anyone, even ourselves. We deny who we are. We choose to identify either with the older or the younger generation, but damn! We sure as fuck won’t admit who we really fucking are.
Well, fuck that.
Yo! Gen Y and you YOLO Gen – fuck off with your sanctimonious do good shit. You wanna remember Curt Cobain fondly? Then you’re remembering a Gen Xer, mother fuckers. Don’t you go and grab MY generation for your own when you can’t even bring yourself to say the fucking words. Go on, let your fucking lips form it: GENERATION X.
And you, you old fucking fogies who admire your fucking grandchildren so fucking much, well, give a LITTLE fucking credit to their parents you fucking morons!
Just fucking ADMIT we’re still here and alive and kickin’ for fuck’s sake! Just for fucking ONCE!
Social fucking ineptitude. No wonder I went fucking underground.
I shall live as Van Gogh did; vilified in life, remembered in death. And you mother fuckers better remember what fucking generation I fucking came from and not fuck it up.
And so it shall be done: when I have income to think about setting up something permanent to hold the rights to my works, I’m gonna put this fucking stipulation on it. Everything will have the tag “done by a Gen Xer” so you never fucking forget we were here.
…….This anger is very hard to put down. This is what set me off yesterday, and it’s obviously a hot enough topic for me to continue ranting today. I’m guessing it’s analogous to my own situation of being ignored (or feeling like that), tho I can’t quite put my finger on the right spot to say aha! I’ve got it. All I know is I’m sore about this, real sore. Took me 4 hours yesterday to ease off it and just be. Today is already easier, since I’ve been able to write it out to some extent. I’ll head off now to heal myself the way I do: listening to my own music. My creations. The stuff that will be here long after my body’s been turned to ash. MY contribution, from a slacker. Generation X.